I Learned a Bad Habit of Mine Through Painting

Something I've battled with is not allowing myself to get let down when things don't play out how I imagine. I'm a really optimistic person and I naturally give most things the benefit of the doubt. I don't feel bad for being this way, I'm actually proud that I can be somebody who sees the light when others see darkness. But, like with everything, you need balance. Nobody has broken my heart like I have -- simply because I hadn't figured out the right balance of optimism & realism. I think I've done a good job of finding that balance through time & practice. It's really hard to look at the world differently when you've been seeing it one way for so long. I knew this was a habit of mine in my general life, but I didn't notice that I carried this habit into my artwork as well...oops.

So, I decided to dedicate each month to practicing a different art media. This month I really wanted to try and better my painting skills. I've always admired people who are great painters and I knew the only way to get there was time & practice. When I began this piece I had a vision in my head of what I wanted -- the ending result looks nothing like it, but I'm still very happy with it -- especially it being my first finished piece in a while.

I'll admit, I was getting frustrated in the beginning when I couldn't make it how I pictured...this is usually where I'd give up and move on to something else. But, I knew this wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I thought about what wasn't working that was in my control. The only thing I could really change was my expectation of what it was "supposed" to look like. Once I let go of this idea that I was going to paint like an expert right away, my frustration melted away. I let the painting change & shape into something with a loose, flexible idea of what I wanted.

So yeah, it's good to be positive and believe that you can do whatever your mind is set on, but it's also good to be realistic and know that time & patience plays a big role. It's also crucial to see the beauty in what happens right now. Even if it's not where you ideally want to be, that doesn't mean it isn't something great. Learn to accept the process for what it is & you might fall in love with it like I did.

❁ Dez

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