Something Important I Learned During My Self-Reflection

Personal growth involves a lot of self-reflection. It's almost like you have to look at yourself from an outsider's perspective to see what's working in your favor and what isn't. If you're like me, it's going to take literally removing yourself from where you were to do this with a clear mind. There came a point in my life where I started to accept what was going on around me because I didn't know life without it. I felt stuck.

"A value that I held onto for the majority of my life was making sure the people I cared for were happy."

For some reason, I couldn't seem to keep the same few people happy and it was easy for me to believe that I was at fault. A value that I held onto for the majority of my life was making sure the people I cared for were happy. It took me a really, REALLY long time to realize that I can contribute to, but can't be the entirety of somebody's happiness -- people are as happy as they want to be. You can run to the end of the earth and back for somebody and they could still tell you that you should've been faster. And that's what I found myself doing; I was running faster and faster until my body couldn't take it anymore. Until my mind couldn't take it anymore.

"Giving up a value you've depended on for years is going to feel disorientating, as if you don't really know right from wrong anymore. This is hard, but it's normal."

I fell into a weird place mentally and I knew I needed to fix something -- this wasn't me. When I physically removed myself from where I was, I spent a lot of time thinking about everything that went on around me and noticed a pattern. A pattern that I had allowed and because of that, I wasn't sure if I was too deep in it to make a change. But then I thought, "I'll never know until I try". So I did it. It was so difficult, but I knew that the best things in life never come easy. In the midst of this process, one of the things I had to give up was that value I held onto so tightly. Author and blogger Mark Manson said, "Giving up a value you've depended on for years is going to feel disorientating, as if you don't really know right from wrong anymore. This is hard, but it's normal." And I can't thank this guy enough for writing a book that brought me so much clarity. It was so relatable and made me feel better about what I was dealing with. I'm not quite where I need to be, but I'm the happiest I've ever been with where I'm at.

"You deserve to be the happiest you've ever been..."

I also want to say thank you to my boyfriend. The universe brought you into my life at the most perfect time. You've shown me to believe in myself & my greatness, simply by loving me the way you do. You make loving and being loved so easy and now I'll never settle for anything less. I hope you guys can read this and be inspired to make any changes that you've been hesitant on making because you deserve that. You deserve to be the happiest you've ever been, too.

xoxo ❁ Dez

Here's the book I was talking about if you're interested in checking it out! (It's linked right in the pic)


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